Being in a relationship can be great, however, it can also be a lot of work. No relationship is perfect and there is going to be a certain amount of conflict. There are several ways that you can sail through the conflict on your own. If you have tried and still cannot make things work, you should consider seeking the help from counsellors in London. Before you seek professional help, there are a few steps that you should take to try to resolve the conflict on your own.
#1 Pick Your Battles Wisely
Before you decide to start a conversation that could turn into a major fight, you should decide if it is really worth it. You should choose your battles wisely and let the small things go.
#2 Choose the Right Time for the Discussion
The time that you decide to have the conversation has a great deal with the outcome. If you start the conversation when either of you is hungry or tired, you will become easily frustrated. If your partner is watching their favorite show, wait until it is over. You should save the talk for a time that you both can focus and concentrate on the problem.
#3 Describe the Problem Briefly
When something is bothering you, it is important that you let your partner know in just one sentence without yelling. If you are going to wait for your partner to guess, the anger will just well up. Also, describe your feelings in one sentence. You should avoid going on and on about what is bothering you. A quick and simple sentence will get your thoughts out without sounding too combative.
#4 Come Up With a Win-Win Strategy
The best way to make both people happy is to try and come up with a win-win situation, where each one of you gets what one wants. When trying to come up with a solution, you should avoid telling your partner what they should do, but what you are willing to do. If you are both looking for a win-win, your partner will be more likely to do the same.
#5 Avoid Insults
When people argue, they tend to throw insults around. This is a mistake. It only adds more stress to the problem. While you started out trying to resolve one conflict, the insults that are flying around will just cause more problems that need to be discussed.
#6 Don’t Dominate the Conversation
You may have a lot to say during the fight, however, you don’t want to dominate the conversation. If it is just your side that is being discussed, you won’t get anywhere. Also, if you don’t let your partner get a word in, it can just cause them to be frustrated. When aggravation and frustration take over, your conversation won’t be effective.
#7 Take a Time-Out if Necessary
If you find that things are getting out of control, you should walk away and take a time-out. If you don’t get yourself out of the situation, what should have been a calm conversation could get out of control. If things are really serious, you should take an hour or even a day to let things settle down and try to talk again when you are feeling more open to agreeing to a compromise.
If you are able to turn what could be a fight into a healthy problem-solving conversation, it can make for a much happier home. If you use the steps listed above, you could end up solving your problem with a calm and effective conversation.