The opening months of a new year can be a testing time for couples. And no wonder; Christmas has been and gone, Valentine’s Day has passed without passion being reignited, annual leave is typically running low and a flame which seems to burn brighter in the summer months is in danger of being extinguished entirely. While it’s sometimes tempting to simply give up, throw in the towel and embrace the single life, there are some things worth fighting for. With this in mind and with the help of Clayton Miller of KMJ Solicitors, London divorce lawyers, here are 5 IDEAL signs you should seek couples counselling.
IF YOU’RE FEELING LOW
If your relationship or marriage has been strained, it can have a severe impact on your mental health. In any instance where you feel that your mental health is suffering, it’s vital to take steps to rectify the situation. Identify whether you feel your life as a couple is worth saving; if both parties are willing to make the effort, then couples counselling could be the way forward. Should the relationship have reached a stage where it feels unworkable from both sides, there’s no shame in walking away, amicably.
YOU PREFER TO SPEND TIME ALONE OR OUT OF THE HOUSE
While there’s nothing to say that a married couple should spend every moment of every day together — quite the opposite, as space is healthy — it’s a worrying sign if one or both parties prefer to spend more time alone or out of the house than with their significant other. A lack of face-to-face time is a sign that a married couple has already “uncoupled” and are essentially living separate lives. If this is the case, direct action to remedy the situation is necessary.
THE CHILDREN FEEL LIKE YOUR ONLY CONNECTION
Staying together solely for the children may seem like a noble act, but in reality ,it can have the reverse effect on your child’s well being to the one that you’re after. Indeed, the self-sacrifice it involves can be something you’ll later live to regret. Staying in an unhappy marriage can make life at home toxic for the entire family; often times it’s important to address the harmony of your relationship or marriage for the welfare of everyone involved.
Every couple has their ups and downs, and arguing can actually be beneficial in small doses, but as the sage words so often suggest, everything should be done in moderation. If you and your spouse argue on a regular – even daily – basis, it’s a red flag for your marriage and relationship in general. Heated arguments can cause an enormous amount of stress, which can severely impact on both your physical and mental health. If this has been going on for a long time, it’s vital to prioritise your health and emotional needs. For many people, the answer is therapy or a fresh start.
Adultery is an enormous emotional hurdle for a married couple to overcome, and in some instances, it’s the catalyst for divorce. It can, however, be the wake up call a couple needs, underlying a deeper issue of emotional neglect or selfishness that counselling can sometimes help with.