At first, the subject matter of this piece might feel almost contrary. The UK is finally embracing new freedoms after months of lockdown, and friends are happily sharing pints, meals and meetings for the first time since last year. Why would we be looking to spend more time with ourselves? We’re sick of that guy!
Well, exactly. In the stress and strain of the previous year, and the claustrophobia associated with living in such close proximity to just one or two (or no) individuals, it feels like so many Brits have neglected to nurture the most important relationship of all; the one we share with ourselves.
With many feeling a sense of trepidation and anxiety about the UK’s lockdown ending, if you’re keen to take things slow and gradual as the country opens up, then join the club! Instead, we’re embracing the breathing space afforded by restrictions lifting to nurture our sense of self-worth and self-confidence. Here’s how; these 5 ways to spend better quality time with yourself.
LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE THROUGH MEDITATION
It’s been a tough, confusing year for everyone, and it feels like perspectives and priorities have become woefully misaligned in a year which has been all about survival.
As some good news filters through regarding vaccinations and dropping case numbers, allow yourself a moment to breathe. Actually, why not allow yourself several minutes to breathe, each and every day, in the form of a mindful meditation session?
Slowing down and being quiet enough to hear your inner voice is essential – this is where your instinct and intuition lies. If you want to find happiness within, this is a good place to start.
Though taking the time for a dedicated meditation session each day is best, if you can’t find time to sit quietly, you can even ‘take a moment’ when you engage in the more mundane actions of the day, like standing in line at the supermarket, brushing your teeth or even taking a walk. During these times, moments of clarity emerge.
Take cues from nature, from the sensory experience, and from focusing on one task with precision, in order to connect with your inner self more meaningfully.
Read: 5 IDEAL tips for living mindfully and in the moment
REACQUAINT YOURSELF QUIETLY WITH NATURE
Just because acquaintances are throwing themselves back into shopping and socialising with abandon, doesn’t mean you have to, if you don’t feel you’re ready yet. Instead, why not reacquaint yourself with nature, and in doing so, make better friends with yourself in the process.
Now the weather has started to warm up and restrictions on spending time outdoors have been lifted, take yourself out for a quiet walk in the countryside and enjoy the stillness of it all! Research suggests that the brain produces more serotonin (the brain’s natural antidepressant) on sunny rather than darker days, and having the sun on your face can bring clarity and encourage self compassion in abundance.
Reconnecting with the natural world needn’t mean isolating yourself in the woods, trying to start a fire with no matches and writing the follow up to For Emma, Forever Ago. But rather, simply making the time to spend a few moments outdoors each day.
Now the weather is warming up and the evenings are getting lighter, why not endeavour to take your lunch break in a park or enjoy a brisk walk after work through some greenery? Research published by Cornell University in 2020 found that even 10 minutes in a natural setting can lessen the effects of both physical and mental stress, and it’s in those quiet moments that self reflection can occur.
PRIORITISE SELF COMPASSION OVER SELF CRITICISM
Let’s face it, we all criticise ourselves from time to time. In the name of spending better quality time with yourself, it’s essential that you own the fact that you’ll never be perfect, and see this as normal. This way, you encourage self-development by embracing your flaws.
Believe it or not, our internal monologue has a huge impact on our stress levels, dictating our mood way more than we give it credit for. The thoughts running through our minds, and in particular the way we talk to ourselves – our self-talk – can impact incredibly on our wellbeing.
By developing positive self-talk habits, we set ourselves up to better deal with stress and anxiety. Often we are much, much harsher in the way we talk to ourselves than how we talk to anyone else; a product of evolution and risk avoidance, according to some psychologists.
PRACTICE PROACTIVE GRATITUDE
Giving thanks and truly meaning it is a huge aspect of mindfulness. Grounding yourself in gratitude helps you to respond to life’s rich tapestry with a more discerning and generous eye, and is good for nurturing a positive mentality and better relationships with loved ones. In fact, studies have shown that practicing gratitude and giving thanks can actually make you happier.
Of course, giving thanks all starts from within; you don’t necessarily have to express your gratitude out loud at first, or write gushing letters to everyone you know (although, that could be nice, too!). Some simply keep a gratitude journal of moments which they felt glad to have experienced each day while others observe something they’re grateful for with each breath of their meditation. However you choose to be more thankful is up to you. The method isn’t important; what matters is the positivity and awareness it brings.
SET ASIDE TIME FOR YOUR HOBBIES
Let’s face it, we all have things we love to do, over time – it could be, running, reading, making or listening to music, etc. Whatever it is that fuels your passion, focus on it, it’s very satisfying.
If it’s possible; find a job or focus on projects that you’re passionate about, this way you feel fulfilled working and in turn feel true happiness doing what you love doing. But if you’re among people who work for money, be sure that amid all the obligations, expectations, and life goals, try setting time aside for your hobbies and passions – the things that make you happy are so important, after all.