Each year, almost 300,000 weddings go ahead in the UK. We start with this statistic in order to help you gain a little clarity on the question you’re about to pop; there are likely more than a quarter of a million folk in the country planning to join you on one knee this year, and not all of them are going to get it right! So, don’t sweat the small stuff.
That said, there is an enormous amount of pressure that comes with organising the perfect proposal. It involves meticulous planning and organisation to ensure you make it the most memorable moment for you and your partner.
While choosing the ideal location for a proposal is a major determining factor in the success of the day, before you can even start to make those plans you must choose the perfect engagement ring.
The ‘perfect’ ring is, of course, a subjective thing, but there are a few elements that are pretty universal. To help you get to grips with a few key considerations, here are 6 things to consider when choosing the perfect engagement ring.
YOUR PARTNER’S STYLE
One of the most important aspects when choosing an engagement ring, but also one so often overlooked, your partner’s unique sense of style and specific taste in jewellery should be considered carefully when buying them their engagement ring.
When people look for engagement rings, one might assume that it needs to be the flashiest piece of jewellery with the biggest diamond, but this isn’t always the case. Instead, your partner may well have a very distinctive preference for an engagement ring, and rather than simply make a stab in the dark about what that might be, you should instead endeavour to find out, regardless of whether it’s traditional or not to do so.
While a proposal should be a surprise, the idea of engagement shouldn’t be. You should absolutely have in-depth discussions with your partner about engagement and marriage before you pop the question, and part of this discussion should include the style of the engagement ring they’d prefer. After all, the intention is for them to wear the ring for life, so it’s important to ensure they actually like it!
Perhaps ask your partner to give you a rough idea of the sort of style and shape they would like, ensuring no hiccups occur and crimes against fashion are committed, all in the name of a ‘surprise’.
ETHICAL CONSIDERATIONS
Though diamonds are a classic choice for engagement rings, they have have become less popular in recent years as more couples look to sustainable and earth-friendly alternatives. If you’ve got your heart set on a diamond ring, consider lab-grown or synthetic varieties.
Should you be going for a traditional diamond, it’s absolutely essential that you ensure your diamond is KPCS certified. The Kimberley Process (KP) and their Kimberley Process Certification Scheme (KPCS) is an international certification scheme that regulates trade in rough diamonds. The scheme intends to ‘’unites administrations, civil societies, and industry in reducing the flow of conflict diamonds – ‘rough diamonds used to finance wars against governments’ – around the world’’.
The organisation are doing fantastic work in making sure the diamond trade is as ethical as possible, and incredibly, today, a whopping 99.8% of the global production of diamonds is covered by KP members. Should you see KPCS on your shipment or purchase, you can rest assured that the rough diamond you’re buying was mined, sorted and shipped in a ‘conflict free’ way.
You should also make sure the band is made from ethically sourced metals. According to the ethical jewellers at Shakti Ellenwood, you should check that your ring provider is a full licensee with the Fairtrade Foundation.
She explains that this is essential because ‘’Becoming Fairtrade certified and meeting Fairtrade Standards for gold helps miners formalise and improve their mining and business practices. Fairtrade Standards are met on working conditions, health and safety, handling chemicals, women’s rights, child labour and protection of the environment.’’
HEIRLOOMS
Alternatively, you could make an even more ethical purchase by not making a purchase at all.
This is another aspect you should consider when trying to choose the perfect engagement ring for your partner. Not everyone has or wants a family heirloom as their engagement ring, but it could be something that works for you and your partner.
Not only do heirloom rings hold incredible sentimental value, but they are a good way to save money and reduce your carbon footprint, too. Whether it is an heirloom from your side of the family or theirs, passing a ring down through generations can make your engagement and wedding that extra bit special.
Having said this, there are some downsides to choosing a family heirloom as an engagement ring. Firstly, you need to be aware of the issues it may cause within the family through you having the heirloom over other members of the family. It could potentially create an unnecessary divide which is the last thing you want at a wedding.
Another thing to take into accounts is if the heirloom comes from your family, your partner may not feel as if the ring is truly their own. It could be perceived as a temporary gift as opposed to an engagement ring that has been personally selected for them. Again, this is why it is important to have conversations about engagement with your partner beforehand, so you are clear of their wishes. Honest is always the best policy, hey?
KNOW THE 4C’S
Colour, cut, clarity and carat are the 4C’s you need to be aware of if you are looking for a diamond engagement ring. The 4C’s are considered to be the global standard of measuring the quality of a diamond and it is a helpful thing to know when you are trying to choose the perfect ring for your partner.
Starting off with colour, a diamond that has less colour is rarer and more precious than one with a deeper colour.
The cut of a diamond really transforms a ring, and many consider it to be the most important component. How the diamond is cut will change the way the diamond reflects white, so a beautifully cut diamond will give off more of that all-important sparkle.
Diamonds are formed through an intense underground process of immense heat and pressure. Due to this, many diamonds contain imperfections or ‘blemishes’ that can interfere with light reflection, commonly referred to as the diamond’s ‘sparkle.’ The clarity of a diamond refers to these blemishes and jewellers can determine a diamond’s quality by studying these imperfections. The highest diamond on the clarity scale would be one that is considered flawless, with no blemishes or inclusions.
The last of the 4C’s is carat, which might be the element shoppers are most familiar with. The carat of a diamond is determined not by its size, but by its weight. So, if you are seeking a diamond ring on the more luxurious end of the scale for your partner, be sure to look for one with the highest carat weight, instead of going for the diamond that simply looks the biggest.
KNOW THEIR SIZE
Perhaps one of the most important steps in choosing the right engagement ring, but one that people often get wrong, is the size.
A proposal is meant to be your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pledge your love and dedication to your partner, and the last thing you want is for it to be ruined by the ring slipping off their finger, or, even worse, not getting it on in the first place. A proposal requires organisation, so make sure when you are planning to make that purchase, you have previously made note of your partner’s ring size.
As mentioned previously, you should have had a conversation with your partner prior to the proposal, which is one way to find out their ring size. You can measure ring size at home quite easily by wrapping a piece of string around the finger, making a note of the measurements, and then using an online guide to tell you what the measurements are equal to in ring size.
However, if you don’t want your partner knowing you are in the process of buying an engagement ring there are more subtle ways to find out ring size. If they already wear rings, you could borrow one of them and trace the inner circle onto paper and then get your measurement that way. Alternatively, you could enlist one of their close friends to subtly get the information for you.
As a general rule (which you shouldn’t rely on, of course), the average ring size for a woman is around 6 to 6.5, but can range anywhere from 3 to 9.
HAVE A BUDGET
Before you begin your search for the perfect engagement ring, you need to set aside a budget to work with. While engagement rings can cost a lot of money, you shouldn’t break the bank just to buy the flashiest one you see.
You may hear some people say that an engagement ring should cost the same amount as three months’ worth of wages, but that is not a realistic expectation for everyone. It is an outdated tradition dating back to the 1930s, and is thankfully less observed now.
Instead, create a budget that works for you, and only spend an amount that is appropriate for you. Because of this, we’re not even going to mention the average cost of one in 2022; you do you, and shop only within your means.
Knowing what your partner likes and having a basic understanding of engagement jewellery means you can start to gauge price points. After this, you can start to create a budget that will be inclusive of your partner’s wishes and one that is considerate of your monthly income.
And after all that effort, in planning and researching, we do hope they say ‘yes’!