Tinder’s getting tired, Bumble boring and Dinner Date’s dour. This alliteration’s a little irritating, too, so let’s stop there. Regardless, it’s a tale as old as time itself; people around the world are looking for love, they always have and they always will. If you’re single, rest assured; you are not alone. Indeed, a SurveyMonkey report on finding romance revealed that 33% of 18-44-year-olds are on some form of dating app. Considering over half of the adult population are married, some lies have definitely been told here.
That said, with so many people looking to find someone to snuggle up to in the winter months, or equally go on romantic walks when the weather warms up, the numbers certainly look good. But conversely, it seems increasingly difficult to find a relationship of real meaning and longevity. Perhaps it’s time for a different approach? Here are 5 IDEAL ways to do dating differently and find love in 2020.
ASK GREAT QUESTIONS
Sure, most of us are pretty well-schooled in what – and what not – to say on a first date. No in-depth ex talk, no baggage too soon revealed, and for heaven’s sake, nothing sleazy….we all know the score, right? But all of this advice centres on one erroneous assumption; that you should be talking about yourself in detail at all.
Instead, ask questions and genuinely listen to the answers; a rare, rare skill these days. The dating site Badoo correlated some helpful dating tips for prospective daters, and they stress the need for the striking the right balance between staying on safe topics, posing searching (but not intrusive) questions and offering a little insight into your own life. So, ask and share about your hometown, food, hobbies in common, the venue you’re in…but most importantly, show that you’re interested in your date as much as that the fact that you’re interesting yourself.
BE AUTHENTIC
We’ve all, to some degree, told a white lie or two to appear more attractive. Past experience suggests that this doesn’t often lay a clear path to romance. Sure, you should be on your best behaviour when on a date with someone new, deploying charm and that twinkle of yours when it’s called for, but it’s equally important to resist the urge to play pretend. Let’s face it; you’ll be found out sooner or later.
Pretending to love Justin Bieber (who you can’t stand) just to score a second date is only going to waste both of your time if it’s all that initial spark was hooked on. Plus, you’ll have to listen to loads of bloody Justin Bieber for the rest of your relationship, and nobody wants that. If s/he doesn’t like you just the way you are, then they’re not the one for you anyway. Show your faults, your quirks and all the things that make you unique; they’ll likely love you all the more for it. And if they don’t, chalk it up and move on.
THINK OUTSIDE THE VENUE BOX
Once you move past that fumbled introduction (‘is really as tall as he claimed?’) it’s time to focus on the actual date. Though conventional and well-trodden, coffee shops or restaurants, (and certainly cinemas) aren’t exactly ideal settings for a date. In fact, they promote an awkwardness, a shuffling in the seat, which comes from that feeling that you’re both taking turns at interrogation.
A simple solution, we think, is to stick to venues which place you side by side or able to move (and escape). So, a restaurant with bar seating, which enables movement, sharing and interaction without being studied, is far better than a face-to-face affair. Even better, a visit to an art gallery, or somewhere which allows you to be more fluid, sheds that awkwardness straight off the bat.
ALCOHOL MAY NOT BE THE SAVIOUR
In your younger years, dates were defined by drunkenness. We don’t think we need to spell out why this doesn’t work when you’ve got longevity in mind? Let’s just put it simply; drunken encounters may not, in fact, after a decade of research to the contrary, yield the perfect compatible life partner. Instead, seek new connections at places and on occasions which don’t revolve around drink. In avoiding alcohol, something more meaningful might be formed.
DON’T BE DEFINED BY TYPE
‘He’s not my usual type’. Could there be an excuse more antiquated than this? Sure, primal urges often dictate decision making, but be honest, has having a singular type and dismissing humanity’s rich tapestry ever genuinely served you well? Cast preconceptions and assumptions out of the window, for good. By looking for a specific type of person, e.g. tall solicitors with dark hair, you could be missing out on the opportunity to meet Mr or Mrs Right, just because they’re short, fair-haired and not a solicitor. Make 2020 the year of a more open minded approach to dating. You might find yourself richly rewarded.
Happy to ignore the antiquated pressures of the patriarchy, and just be single? Treat yourself; here are 5 IDEAL restaurants to eat solo in Soho.