Want to impress guests with exquisite taste and sophistication? Allow me to pour you a glass of this wine I can’t pronounce, the one I worked a week to afford. Let’s drink it in the living room, where we can admire my really big telly. And then we’ll sit down to the rib of beef I’ve turned into charcoal.

It’s time to be honest; there’s really only one point in a visitor’s stay when they have the chance to really appraise your house, your sense of decor and style. And that’s when they’re in the bathroom, away from prying eyes, preferably sitting down and relaxed, ready to take in every little detail. It’s so important, then, that a room so often associated with function is, in fact, just a little bit fun too; a place you’re happy to spend time in. With that in mind, here are 5 IDEAL items to add luxury to your bathroom.

SOAPS WHILE SOAPY

A T.V in the bathroom can lead to some pretty sweeping assumptions about the owner’s way of life, conjuring up images of indolence, indulgence and bad taste. What’s conjured up most, though, is a massive sense of envy. Yes indeed. Because if your bathroom can’t be your oasis, a place of personal pampering and decadence, then where can be?

We at IDEAL think there’s no shame in raising the bar (hmmm, ‘bar’…that gives us another idea) in the bathroom, entertainment wise. And if that T.V secured and visible above the tub stops another phone-being-dropped-in-the-bath episode, then we’re all for it.

THIS SHOWER HEAD FEELS AMAZING

Nothing and we mean nothing, evokes a feeling of pity and gentle judgement from a house guest to their hosts more than a poorly functioning shower. ‘What, you go through this weak, awkward experience every morning? How do you even get clean?’ You don’t want this to be the lasting impression of your domestic experience, that’s for sure. Before you focus on finessing your bathroom, you have to get your shower in fine working order. The good guys over at Byretech can help with replacing a faulty shower head and getting your flow strong and confident in no time.

ADD SOME ART

Just because you exfoliate and evacuate here, doesn’t mean the room should have a purely functional feel. There’s no other place in the house where we simply sit and stare vacantly in front of us searching for distraction, after all. A thoughtfully positioned picture then, to reflect on while doing your business, is just what the proctologist ordered.

It should go without saying that any art or sculpture should be restrained and subtle. Absolutely no comedic touches allowed; leave the poop posters to the students, the ‘tasteful’ softcore to Stringfellow and instead go for something soothing and abstract.

Think outside your thunderbox, and give the standard nautical theme a change of course (are anchors, fish and boats really the best we can do guys?). Of course, ensure any purchase is water resistant.

MODERNISE, MINAMILISE

Things can get old fashioned very quickly in a bathroom if it’s not brought into step with modern times. A spongy carpet, an odd green-brown finish to the furnishings, a furry toilet seat cover, toilet paper rendered in apricot…if any of these are still present, it’s time to change things up. Pronto.

These days it’s all about greys and whites, marbles and metallics, a clean-lined, minimalist vibe and a sense of as little fuss as possible. A shortcut to this look is via a simple exercise in cold-blooded decluttering. Throwing stuff away won’t cost you a penny, so be cutthroat; the contemporary bathroom adopts a less is more approach. Once the slate is clean, adding a few blonde wood panels in appropriate places (as a cabinet door or the front of a drawer, for instance) is a fine, modern touch.

DIMMER LIGHTS

Whoever decided that the room where our imperfections are most visible should be the one most starkly lit has a lot to answer for. If you truly want to turn your bathroom into a place to be proud of, one of relaxation and replenishment, then installing a dimmer light is a great way to get there. You can then customise the level of illumination to suit your needs; wanting to admire your toned frame in the mirror? Let there be light. Looking for romantic vibes in the tub? Low lit and languid it is.