Has the fire somewhat burnt out after months stuck indoors together? Are you looking to rekindle the flame after a trying year? Do you feel like your more intimate moments together have lost their spontaneity? Well, you’ve come to the right place.
Let’s clear something up, despite what movies and your favourite soap opera may show, great intercourse isn’t a spontaneous and sexy act. In real life it takes a little planning for you both to have fulfilling and engaging sexual experience.
Although we don’t claim to have all the answers, there are a few simple steps you can take and tricks you can try to get things back on track. With that in mind, here are 6 amazing tips for improving your sex life today.
A DIRTY WEEKEND
No, we don’t mean a weekend going away to participate in something like the Boryeong Mud Festival! What we’re talking about is going somewhere to spend time with your partner with the sole purpose of having loads of uninterrupted sex. This can do wonders for your sex life if you’re both so busy with your lives or are unable to spend quality time together in your own home.
Now that we’re allowed to travel again, restrictions lifting could be just the catalyst for inhibitions lifting, too, a new and exciting period in your relationship beginning. Finding the right destination together, whether it be a cabin or 5-star luxury hotels, will add to the anticipation, sure, but organising a surprise trip of this nature could be equally thrilling!
Perhaps even surprising your partner with a weekend away will earn you a little extra kudos. Knowing what you’re going to spend most of your time away making love also means you can prepare (yep, we realise that might not be the most spontaneous approach), perhaps buying some sexy lingerie, preparing a mood-enhancing playlist or packing some sex toys. Speaking of which…
SEX TOYS
One way to spice up your sex life is to invest in a mixture of sex toys that both you and your partner can enjoy. You can start this off by looking on the internet together – all part of the fun, we think. Vibrators are still the most reliable sex toy (for many) to bring your partner and yourself to orgasm. If you’re new to sex toys in general, this would be a good starting point.
The good news about buying sex toys online is that most companies will send you your order in discreet packaging, so any nosey neighbors or children won’t have a clue what’s arrived. Kinda adds to the fun, don’t you think?
FANTASIES
We all have different sexual needs and desires that we learn as we grow. Some of us are more open to talking about them than others, which is a shame because one of the easiest ways to improve your sex life is talking about your sexual fantasies with your partner and taking turns to fulfill them.
Obviously, both of you need to feel comfortable doing this because it cannot happen without mutual consent, but keeping open and flexible to what each other would like is another way to keep things alive. Some sex and relationship experts suggest turning the act of exploring your fantasies into a game; you and your partner write down 5 fantasies each and place them in a jar. You then take turns to pull out the paper and explore them a little further.
POSITIONS
Some of us may have a favourite sexual position, but it’s easy to get complacent. But changing things around and trying new things can open your minds to new styles that you might both enjoy – you might even discover a new favourite position in the process!
Using different positions during sex will keep things fresh, but be careful not to change positions too often because it will destroy what you’re trying to achieve, possibly preventing you and your partner from really savouring something new. Consider investing in a Kama Sutra manual, a hugely popular book which details just about every sex position out there. Alternatively, sex position dice bring an element of fun (and chance!) to proceedings.
TOUCHING
Even though you’re, of course, touching your partner while having sex, this is not what we’re talking about. What we’re referring to here is sensual touching, the kind that arouses, teases, and causes anticipation. A light brush of your fingertips on their skin or a gentle caress of their neck can give them all sorts of sensations that they’ll want more of, and help bring a new focus to enjoying the experience with your partner without necessarily focusing on any end goal.
Doing so will create a closeness that’s only shared between the two of you. If this slow pace appeals, consider investigating the world of tantric sex; a slow, meditative approach which can be super intense and fulfilling.
Read: 5 IDEAL psychological benefits of kissing
ROMANCE
Who said that romance was dead? Romance is the art of love shown between two people, which can be displayed in so many different ways. For instance, sending flowers whilst your partner is working or giving them a surprise gift when you arrive home is a wonderful way to show your partner how much you care and how much you think of them.
We all want to be loved and want to be that special someone for our special someone. We can show this by our actions, which don’t have to cost a thing. If we know our partner has had a long day, running them a bath and giving them a massage is a great way to show them you care, for instance.
Very often we get caught up in our daily lives and when we’re in a long-term relationship, it’s easy to forget that it needs just as much effort as you put into it in the early days. Our relationships evolve, just like we do in time, and if we don’t work at keeping romance alive, our sex life will be affected.
DON’T FORGET SELF LOVE
To improve your sex life with your partner, you should first focus on yourself. Discovering what you enjoy sexually through self-exploration can be a great way to gain more confidence in your body and relieve stress, too. If you’re keen to learn more about that, then check out these 5 IDEAL reasons to self-pleasure tonight.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Woah, woah, woah….wait. Not yet! We just need to finish up here first. Not like that, mind.
Oh, we’re all in a pickle now, so we’ll bid you adieu. We hope you’ve found some inspiration in reinvigorating your sex life with your partner. Good luck!