When you’re going through a divorce, there’s so much adjusting to be done, and so many forks in the road you hadn’t previously accounted for, that practicalities you’d never previously considered suddenly become a priority.
Prepare to be blindsided; taking your children on holiday following a divorce can really catch folk off guard. As a married couple, so many happy memories will have been made on holiday, and logistically, things were simple and smooth. Post divorce, however, it’s an intricate, tangled web.
Of primary importance is behaving within the law. Most importantly, you need to obtain permission from your ex to be able to take the child abroad, and vice versa. Failure to do so, or taking a child abroad without the other parent’s knowledge, could be considered child abduction. To make sure your holiday plans aren’t derailed, make sure you get clued up on how to navigate the murky waters of post break up travel, with these 4 tips on sharing family holidays amicably after divorce.
IS YOUR PASSPORT UP TO DATE?
If you’ve changed your name after a divorce, make sure this is reflected on your passport. But remember this can make things more complicated if your children don’t have the same surname. Check with the airline in advance to make sure you will be able to travel with children if they have a different last name. You may need to travel with their birth certificates to prove your relationship.
APPLYING FOR PASSPORTS FOR CHILDREN
If your children don’t already have passports, or if they have expired, you will need to apply for a first passport or a renewal. If the child is under the age of 16, anyone with parental responsibility for the child can apply for a passport. Details of both parents will need to be provided unless you can prove that you are the only one with parental responsibility. If the child is over 16 but under 18, they will need to cosign the passport application.
SEEKING & GRANTING PERMISSION
As a divorced parent with shared parental responsibility, you have to get permission from your ex before taking your child out of the country. It doesn’t matter if the child normally resides with you and only visits their other parent at the weekend, you still have shared parental responsibility. If you decide to risk it and travel without seeking the permission of the other parent, you could face child abduction charges. This is sure to put a damper on your holiday plans.
If you or your ex believes that the trip would not be in the best interest of the child, then either can refuse to give consent and even apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. This would prevent the parent and child from being able to take the trip. Typical reasons for this would include if the trip is happening during term time, or if the child is set to miss an important family event or appointment to go on holiday.
Many holidays get derailed at the last minute because parents get worried about their ex’s plans. It’s important to be upfront and honest about the trip to prevent any uneasy feelings. The other parent should be able to provide all of the information of the holiday, including flight numbers, the dates you will be travelling, where you will be staying and how to contact you while you’re there. It’s also a good idea to make provisions for how the children will video call with the other parent while they are away, too.
AGREE ON BOUNDARIES
Aside from legal concerns, there are of course matters of common decency to uphold here, first and foremost for your child’s emotional welfare, but also for the parents’. It’s fair to insist that you’re to be permitted to meet new partners if they’re going on holiday with your child, however awkward that may be. You should also introduce your new partner to your ex prior to any holidays together with your children.
Also be open about discussing shared rules for your children during the holiday. Would you like bedtimes to be kept consistent with their regular domestic routine? Do you think their diets should be maintained or is the holiday going to be a festival of mainlining ice cream and fizzy drinks? Mutually agree on these rules prior to yours or your partner’s holiday, plus any others specific to your child’s unique needs.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Though this is certainly a tricky time for all concerned, holidays abroad after a divorce can still be fun for all the remaining family. When handled dexterously, new memories can be made which last a lifetime.
