IDEAL if your love life is feeling more tepid than tempestuous this autumn
Cuffing Season is officially upon us, that time of year when single folk look to bed down with a short term partner to get them through the colder months in a comforting, non-committal way.
But for those already in a long term relationship, the turning of the seasons into more cuddly, cosy territory might not bring the same satisfaction. In fact, the coronavirus pandemic only exacerbated a physical divide between cohabiting couples, with research consistently suggesting that couples were having less sex, borne out by decreased birth rates across the world.
If you’re keen to rejuvenate the raunchier side of your relationship as the nights draw in, then it may be time to give your sex life an overhaul. With the help of Sinful, here are 4 ways to give your sex life a lift today, IDEAL if your love life is feeling more tepid than tempestuous this autumn.
ADDRESS ISSUES IN THE RELATIONSHIP AS A WHOLE
The decreased frequency of sex between a couple is rarely down to a decreased interest in sex alone. There are often a whole host of reasons why that intimate side has dwindled, from quarrels about washing up duties to disputes about money.
If you and your partner are spending too much time on your phone, you’ve stopped going on dates, the romance has dwindled, or you’ve stopped focusing on your own passions and interests, then these could all be signs that something more foundational is happening.
Check out these 5 signs that the spark has gone in your relationship and the ideal ways to fix them for more on that.
GET ADVENTUROUS WITH SEX TOYS
Plenty of people, especially those who have been in a relationship for a long time, are a bit shy when it comes to trying new things in the bedroom. They are used to certain things and complacency can set in.
This can be detrimental to a rich and varied sex life. Every once in a while, a couple will experience dry spells, sure, and this is perfectly understandable, especially for those people who have been together for a long time. But by getting adventurous, you can explore a new side of your partner (and yourself!), opening up new possibilities in your sex life while doing so.
Sinful recommend introducing some sex toys into the bedroom. They say that ‘’Experimenting with sex toys like sucking silicone vibrator together as a couple can increase the level of intimacy and happiness you share with each other, as well as add excitement to everyday life.’’
Another reason complacency can set in is that lovemaking can become formulaic when always happening in the same room. Consider a spontaneous and adventurous dirty weekend away as a way to place firm focus on the physical side of your relationship, away from the usual stresses and distractions of the home.
EMBRACE CUDDLING & KISSING
Intimacy, to a certain extent, revolves around anticipation. Not having enough time, or being too stressed or tired to commit to the physical side of your relationship, can lead to hasty, rushed moments of affection. Instead, try to embrace all aspects of the physical side of things, whether it’s holding hands more regularly, cuddling up on the sofa, or scheduling in time for kissing alone. Naturally, better sex will follow.
What we’re referring to here is sensual touching, the kind that arouses, teases, and causes anticipation. A light brush of your fingertips on their skin or a gentle caress of their neck can give them all sorts of sensations that they’ll want more of, and help bring a new focus to enjoying the experience with your partner without necessarily focusing on any end goal.
Doing so will create a closeness that is only shared between the two of you. If this slow pace appeals, consider investigating the world of tantric sex; a slow, meditative approach which can be super intense and fulfilling.
Read: 5 IDEAL psychological benefits of kissing
COMMUNICATE BETTER WITH YOUR LOVER
Talking about sex is not everyone’s cup of tea, particularly in a place as reticent and, whisper it, repressed as the UK. But neglecting to talk about the naughty stuff might hurt your relationship, both physically and as a whole.
We all have different sexual needs and desires that we learn as we grow. Some of us are more open to talking about them than others, which is a shame because one of the easiest ways to improve your sex life is talking about your sexual fantasies with your partner and taking turns to fulfil them.