Here’s something no one tells you about getting married; in the lead-up to getting hitched, you’ll be presented with as many questions as answers.
Am I making a mistake? Is he/she/they the one for me? Will they ever learn where the correct cupboard for the iron is? Ruminations both big and small can start to circle, distracting you from the key concerns at hand; namely, will there be enough wine at the wedding?
In all seriousness, and although a few pre-wedding jitters are normal, obsessing over future uncertainty is enough to make any couple anxious. If you’re keen for your big day to go smoothly (of course you are, no one ever willed theirs to be chaotic), then it’s essential you keep those nerves at bay. Today, we’re considering the best ways to manage those pre-wedding jitters. Read on to find out more…
FIND A SOUNDING BOARD AWAY FROM FAMILY
We all need a good dissection of our wedding plans (and a bit of a vent about our partners) in the run-up to the big day. There will be elements that are undoubtedly causing tension between you, your partner and perhaps even the wider family unit, but rather than letting them build up until they erupt at the most inopportune time – at the altar, anyone? – it’s advisable to find a sounding board, instead.
This could be a close friend or confidant, sure, but even better is someone far removed from all the planning, like a pal at yoga, that librarian you sometimes chat to, or even a pen (or email) pal from another era. Having space to air ideas and grievances away from wedding attendees can feel liberating, make no mistake.
TAKE A BREAK AND INDULGE
Create a “let loose” emergency plan for those moments when you need to remove your wedding planning hat and, frankly, get out of your head. When things get overwhelming, sometimes a fun night out with friends without all that wedding preparation talk will do the trick.
Planning a wedding can be stressful. Chocolates, a spa day, a run, or a cocktail night are a few things that can take the edge off. Just remind friends that your meetup is a ‘wedding free zone’ and indulge!
BE AWARE
Sometimes, pre-wedding jitters can be a warning sign that you’re not as happy as you’re perhaps projecting in your relationship. Seek out a life coach or professional therapist, a close friend or a parent, and carefully consider whether the wedding is truly the right decision. Remember; it’s never too late to back out if your reservations are serious enough and your future happiness feels in jeopardy.
Talk to your partner about those reservations, too, if you’re comfortable doing so. Never be afraid to be open and vulnerable to the person you could be spending the rest of your life with.
CHERISH IMPERFECTION
Most of the time, the pressure is massive on your wedding day for everything to be perfect. We ascribe to the idea that a seamless wedding equates to a happy relationship, but this isn’t always the case.
Instead, as Leonard Cohen so elegantly, eloquently intoned,
‘’Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in’’
A quintessential wedding does not need to be the perfect dress, menu, flowers and colour palette; it is the quality of the partnership that will ensure.
Building a solid foundation for the relationship should be the priority, nothing else. Leave the nitty-gritty details like the cake flavour, personalised notecards, something borrowed and something blue to your wedding planner or leave them off entirely! Instead, focus on the bigger picture and in the build-up to your big day, nurture your relationship with your partner. Your happily-ever-after will thank you for it.
