Stress can bring out the worst in brides, grooms and nearlyweds alike, and many of us will be familiar with a term that’s used all too often – bridezilla.
We’ve all heard tales of stressed out, overdemanding brides. However, as Alena Amato Ruggerio, who wrote the book Media Depictions of Brides, Wives and Mothers told The Guardian, the term ‘bridezilla’ taps into longstanding stereotypes about women…that, under pressure, a woman is going to have a meltdown”.
Let’s park that term right there, and let’s park the stress of your big day, too, with these 6 tips for stressing less in the lead up to your wedding.
DO IT AS A TEAM OF TWO
Let’s face it, organising a wedding and juggling work and all of life’s other commitments can be hard. Scrap that ‘can be’…it is hard. The expense, guestlists, booking the venue, juggling factional elements of family and organising the caterers can be stressful.
For us, a ‘’tell-me-where-to-show-up’’ kind of partner is a stereotype we’re not on board with. As the saying goes, ‘two heads are better than one’, and this is certainly true for sharing the wedding planning load fairly and amicably. So, endeavour to do your fair share of the planning, and expect your partner to do theirs.
Compromise and equality…it’s what all great marriages are built on, right?
DELEGATE JOBS
Although it’s often referred to as your Big Day (we’re sure we’ve referred to it as such a few times already), you should never feel as if you’re solely responsible for everything as the bride and groom.
And that is why getting assistance from a wedding planner is in your best interest and a worthwhile investment in your own wellbeing, as much as anything. Apart from that, there are plenty of people on hand who will be more than willing – and often times, honoured – to help.
Enlist the help of bridesmaids and mother-in-laws, groomsmen, cousins, friends….anyone. This should be a day you look forward to, not dread, so don’t be afraid to delegate.
REMEMBER THAT IT’S ONLY A PARTY
While you may have agonized about getting your hands on (or rather, fingers in…wait that sounds weird) all of those perfect diamond engagement rings, the suavest attire and the most rocking wedding band, it’s important to get some perspective.
Will the whole day fall apart if the table cloth is the wrong shade of ecru? Could your marriage be cursed if the font on the place cards is a little larger than you’d like? We think not.
Think about the weddings you’ve been to before…the most cherished memories are so often made in the toasting, feasting, dancing and debauchery. Recontextualise your wedding as a party and celebration, and you’ll find it easier to not sweat the small stuff.
DOWNSIZE
The growing trend towards minimalist matrimonials and downsized weddings, seen before COVID-19 was even a familiar term, looks like it’s set to continue in a post pandemic world.
This lowering of expectations might be a blessing, taking the heavy burden of expectation from the event in favour of fun and frivolity. So, consider downsizing your event in the name of having a safer, more intimate affair. If you have friends and family feeling like they’ve been left out and voicing protestations, just blame COVID.
ELOPEMENT WEDDINGS
The pandemic has certainly made organising nuptials for couples problematic. Indeed, over the past year, countless couples have been grappling with the decision of how to move forward with their wedding plans whilst managing to please everyone and endanger no one.
With the uncertainty and risk involved in planning a wedding, many couples are re-evaluating what was important to them in the first place. That is getting married, not whether their third cousin removed should sit next to crazy aunt Beverly at the reception.
As such, some bridegrooms-to-be are choosing to elope instead of dealing with the headache of planning or rescheduling their wedding completely. A chic and discreet option, eloping is also an attractive alternative for couples who aren’t actually all that fussed about the intricacies of wedding planning, especially if you’re someone who has never had an interest in deciding between fondant and buttercream.
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
If there are problems arising with your wedding planning and it severely impacts your vision of your perfect day, you’ve got to take a step back and breathe. It can be frustrating, but these things happen because if a venue has strict rules in place, or a supplier is being unreliable, these are things that you have no choice but to tweak. You can find alternative suppliers, or work with the venue to come to a satisfactory conclusion. Learning to relax is going to help you throughout the entire process because when you look back on it in 20-years’ time, are you going to remember the stressful times or the big day?
THE BOTTOM LINE
You’re marrying the person you love, and everything else is merely window dressing. Don’t sweat the small stuff and instead focus on the bigger picture…in doing so, you’ll have a stress-free, fabulous time. Now, can we expect our invite in the post?