COVID restrictions in the UK have now eased, unabridged, across the board, and, most importantly, up the aisle!
With limits on wedding parties now lifted, so too can your dreams of planning the big day finally take flight. The extended period of downtime brought on by the global pandemic no doubt gave you ample time to fantasise about your dream wedding, but in the cold light of the potentially-post-COVID era, it’s time to get serious and lay down some proper plans.
The sooner you start putting pen to paper and plan to calendar, the smoother the process will be in turning your dream wedding into blissful reality.
That said, it’s a process not without its hurdles. In fact, it’s one so often fraught with tension and discord. To help you prepare mentally for that, and to bring a healthy dose of realism to proceedings, here are some things no one tells you about planning your wedding (until now!).
EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION
Best friends, sisters, aunties, uncles, next door’s cat – when it comes to your wedding, everyone has an opinion. Especially your parents, who will no doubt impart words of wisdom and will be covering some of the costs of your wedding.
But with that acceptance of generosity also comes the danger of relinquishing some control of your big day, and many married couples-to-be find it tough to keep parents both involved in the planning but also at an arm’s length in the decision making.
Indeed, though your parents might mean well in their offers of opinion and help, their good intentions can take the focus off what you and your partner really want, which is counterproductive for all concerned.
What to do? Just smile and nod, then do what you want to do.
THE QUESTIONS CAN GET OVERWHELMING
Ice breakers, conversational lubricant, the topic to raise when chat runs dry…with family and friends, your wedding is going to come up constantly.
Annoying and intrusive wedding questions are one of the plights you have to endure when getting married. While most people imagine that newly engaged couples will want to talk about their wedding planning non-stop, this just in; most of them don’t! For many, it’s just not fun repeating yourself multiple times to different acquaintances.
What to do? Smile and change the subject! If it’s a personal question, just ask them a personal question straight back.
WEDDINGS ARE COMMERCIALISM IN DISGUISE
Call us cynical, but the wedding industry sometimes feels like capitalism caught hold of it and exploited it for all its worth. Unfortunately, the wedding industry is successful at convincing engaged couples that they ‘need’ various wedding related products and services to make their big day extra special; if they don’t spend big, their happily-ever-afters are in jeopardy, they’d have you believe.
In our materialistic society, a big, brash wedding is emblematic of how dedicated we are to our relationship, how much it’s worth to us and how much we’re willing to invest in a person.
Where does the spending end and the love begin? Well, that choice is down to you. For those keen for something low key, a silver lining of the past 18 months is that wedding trends have become more humble, local and, let’s face it, affordable.
What to do? Channel a key wedding trend of 2021, and keep things compact.
WACKY WEDDING NIGHTMARES ARE REAL
Wedding anxiety dreams are a real thing and are in fact a symptom of stress. As explained by Real Wedding, “We’re psychologically hard wired to catastrophize. It’s a psychological survival technique to protect us from those worst-case scenarios that we’re almost certain will never happen but that our subconscious is making preparations for, just in case”.
Indeed, your wacky wedding dreams are helping you navigate, plan and prepare for your big day, helping you to get into the right mindset, however distressing they might be. That said, your nightmares are likely a sign that you’re stressing yourself out and giving yourself too much to do.
What to do? Well, you could do worse than check out these 6 steps for stressing less in the lead up to your wedding
WEDDINGS ARE ONLY AS MUCH WORK AS YOU MAKE THEM
Speaking of giving yourself too much to do, weddings are only as much work as you make them. If you give yourself lots of DIY projects, then you’ll be DYing for most of the lead-up to the wedding. If you book in a raft of venues to view every weekend, then don’t blame anyone if you start sinking with stress.
Wedding planning doesn’t have to be relentlessly challenging.
What to do? Don’t overstretch yourself and don’t take too much on; streamline, delegate, and know when to pay for something professionally.
Read: 5 things worth spending your budget on
CHEAPER DRESSES LOOK GREAT, TOO
There’s so much pressure on brides to choose the ideal dress and spend a fair amount of money doing so, too. Well, first things first, from a financial standpoint, spending money on an expensive wedding dress is a bad investment.
What’s more, a ‘cheaper’ dress can look just as fabulous, if not more so, as it allows you to personalise and put your own unique twist on things. There are plenty of affordable high-street wedding dresses out there, which we think look just as good as those expensive designer ones.
What to do? Break away from an identikit, veiled, all white ball gown number, and instead wear something simple and elegant that won’t break the bank.
FOOD IS IMPORTANT
Food is the thing people actually will remember, and for many, it’s the defining part of the day.
What type of cuisine would you like to have? If you and your partner have different backgrounds, would you like to include both cultures and have a mixture of cuisines, symbolising your partnership? Are you keen for a formal, three course, sit down affair, or something more hip, current and fluid? Will you go for a convivial, sharing format, or individual plates?
These decisions do matter; people will forget a few hairs out of place or a name spelt wrong on the personalised placemats, but they will remember a bad meal.
What to do? Embrace the cake tastings, menu edits and sessions with your caterer as an integral part of the process and a fun day out in their own right.
CAKE CUTTING ALWAYS GETS LOST IN THE CELEBRATIONS
That said, when it comes to the wedding cake, there are so many questions to consider. How many tiers would you like? What sort of filling? Will it be handmade by a relative or friend or will you want it professionally done? Does it need to fit a particular theme to tie in with the rest of the day?
Our first slice of advice would be to opt for a different flavour for each tier of the cake if you can’t settle on one single flavour. Our second slice of advice would be that you’re likely overthinking it.
On average, a tenth of your wedding cake gets thrown away. Not only does this contribute to the nation’s food waste problem – but it’s also a waste of money.
What to do? Serve a delicious cake, sure, but don’t get too stressed about the finer details on this one. You could, perhaps, serve your cake as the dessert rather than as a later spectacle. It’s sometimes a bit awkward to stop the dancing to cut the thing anyway, don’t you think?
CAPTURING THOSE PRECIOUS MEMORIES
You will want to remember this day forever. Firstly, go easy on that champers; you don’t want any memory lapses on this most special of days.
But more importantly, capture everything with photographs. You could ask a family friend to take some snaps throughout the day, but if you want good quality, well-considered shots, then it’s worthwhile hiring a professional photographer.
Without a doubt, this is part of your budget that you should definitely not feel guilty about spending.
Wedding photographer and friend of IDEAL Allister Freeman – visit website for more info – tells us that rather than placing undue importance on photographic fads, you should instead prioritise and recognise ‘’the value in timeless and natural pictures that tell an authentic wedding story’’.
We couldn’t agree more, and it’s in professional hands that you’ll be able to narrate your day through photos most aptly.
What to do? Don’t rely on friends and family to capture the day with fuzzy iPhone snaps. Instead, factor a professional wedding photographer into your budget.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Wedding preparations can present unforeseen challenges at every turn. You can’t prepare for everything, but you can now, at least, prepare for the above.